You realize what my little one meant to me and I to her. We were a team. Her Hypercalcimia is what took her from me. We knew it would and her Dr tried so hard to make her comfortable. She would rally and I would be filled with hope. Then after a few weeks she would fail. I didn't want to make you tread those ups and downs with us so unless she went to the hospital, Admiral spoke of other things.
But she has been failing the past three weeks and I could see the only things that mattered to her was some food but most of all my surrounding her with my arms and loving on her. Kisses all over her sweet little warm fur body and murmuring in her sweet ears. She had nothing else to look forward to but my love surrounding her so I looked hard at myself. I saw that I was mightily avoiding the pain I knew was coming-- but at a cost. Her cost.
Now: I will continue as Admiral's mommy to come and see you in a few days and comment. I would miss all of you terribly as you've all come to mean so much to me and to the Admiral. So if you agree, I myself, the mommy will come and see you and you need not return the visit here. I want to keep up with all of you kitties and woofies. One day Admiral may lead another little girl to me..when she does, I will tell you here and on the CB so we may all become furiends with a new baby.
See you in a few days, dear furiends if you don't mind that its me, the mom for now. I truly love you all. I do. xoxoxox
60 comments:
The Human and I are verreh happy that you will still come visit us--we would be even sadder than we already are if we thought that you would not be here with us anymore. We know you are still so sad and we are glad you feel warmed by the love of all the kittehs and Humans (oh, okay, and some woofies too).
You were so brave, Admiral Mommy. You gave your beautiful girl the gift of your love right till she went On Ahead. And I do believe that one day, when the time is right, she will whisper a name to you and nudge you gently to share your generous love again.
XOXOXO
We thank you for sharing Admiral with all of us. We are glad you will not disappear but will still be around. And one day ... Admiral was so loved, we're sure she will send another furry for you to love when the time is right.
We are very familiar with the pain you feel right now and we're really happy to know that you will continue to visit. We know Admiral will send you a furperson to love when she knows you are ready.
The Florida Furkids and Angel Sniffie
We would be really happy to have you visit us and we will keep in touch for sure. We know Admiral is watching over her beloved Mommy and if you close your eyes, you will be able to feel her warm fur body and feel her sweet breath on your face. When the time is right, Admiral will guide you to a little girl who will fill your heart with love and laughter again.
Much love and hugs to you, Carole.
Your dear girl had such a good life with you. We are so sorry her hypercalcemia couldn't be cured, but the treatments did give you time to come to terms with the fact she could not stay with you forever. You loved her the best until the very very end.
Yes, we will be so glad for you to keep in touch with us, visit our blog, and maybe even every now and then you might wish to post a memory picture of Admiral on her bloggie? No pressure, just a thought.
Your heart was made to share with a loved furry creature. Take the time you need, but when the time seems right, we will all be so happy to welcome a new baby, as we are sure you will be.
Happy stormless sailing, sweet Admiral.
We would be honored to have you continue to visit...and we know that the Admiral knows you did what was best and is watching over you....please take care of yourself!!
Dear Admirals mom you did makes her happy an she did meow so all teh times. It will makes me so happy if you comes to visit an I will even lets you pets mai furz if you duz. *softpaw*
For Admiral's mom.
I know how much you loved your sweet lady and how you will miss her. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
xoxo
I know that your love is what sustained her for so long. The fact that she'd sleep on your head after you had been away for a while shows how much she loved you. And her singing was a love serenade ;-). Take as much time as you need. Just know that we're here whenever you're ready.
We are so glad that Admiral had you for all that love that you gave her. We are also so glad to hear that you will visit us some. We sure don't want to lose both you and Admiral. I know that Admiral would be thrilled if some day you got another little furry animal. We would be glad to let you snuggle with us any time you want to and we don't do that for anyone else. We understand you are hurting so much but thanks for this little update. We love you too gal. Take care.
Admiral's mommy, we're happy to hear that you will continue to visit all of us. You are our friend, too. And somehow with you keeping in touch, we will be able to keep Admiral close to us as well. Thank you for sharing Admiral with us. We will miss our beautiful, funny furiend. And we know one day, she will lead another to you...that's what she would want.
Sail on, sweet Admiral, sail on...
I would be more than happy for you to continue visiting me, even without Admiral's guiding paw... although I get the feeling she will still be guiding you from another plane. Purrs to you today, and in the days to come.
What can we say,,,,, we agree wif all that haz been said by thoze before us ^..^ It would break owr heartz and momz too if you didn't come around cauze we All Luvz you Both ^..^
Owr Beautiful Admiral knowz how much your heart achez and how it iz breaking and she will lead you one day soon to a baby you will be able to hold and warm ......
The love you have for her must Live on and not die along with her.
Warm Hugs, Soft Purrz & Kisses ~
You are Always Welcome ~
(*Larry left a message wif Morgana)
We are coming to offer our purrs to you on your loss but want to remind you that the hole in your heart will be filled with the memories that you share with Admiral. You were a good mommy and will one day be a good one again.
Mommy is happy that you will continue to visit your friends on the CB and hope one day to help you welcome a new treasure to your life.
Snuggles,
Taz, Runt and Charles in IL
We went through the same thing when we lost Inigo, I know how heartbreaking it is. I know the Admiral is watching over you still, and when the time is right she'll help you find another sweet girl.
Austin and I would be honoured if you could come and visit us sometimes! And I know dear sweet Admiral will lead you to the purrfect little furry friend when the time is right. I think you were very brave to keep the sadness to yourself for so long xox
We too value your friendship and would cherish those visits. Hugs.
We would be honored for you to still visit us. We are so thankful that you and Admiral shared so much love together and we know she'll forever be in your heart. Thank you for sharing a part of your life with us. We love you too so want you to continue to be a part of our lives too! Hugs to you Carole!
I know in my heart you are free and feeling great now and sniffing fresh breezes and watching birdies...
Our hearts are heavy but we know mommy will see you again <3
Love and love and love and more love to you. Each tribute I see across the CB is just like a brilliant star that I know my beloved sistah can see. That Woman can't stop her bawling so I can only imagine what you must be feeling. If I thought it would help I'd be coming to see you in person (and promptly ignoring you so you know you are loved)but nothing could even measure up to the world size Admiral space that is left. That Woman said to say she is thankful that as you walk through that space alla us in the CB will be calling out to you from the sides of the great sadness so you know you are so not alone.
xoxo
and more
xoxo
Ms. Stella O'Houligan
Thank u, Admiral's Mom. :) We all will have happy memories of our kitteh friend and we glad u has them too. :)
Please do come and visit as we would love to see you. We do so understand your pain. HUgs Carol and GJ xx
So sorry to hear about admiral. We will miss the posts, and we hope things get a little brighter for you every day.
Sometimes it really sucks being the human. xx Trish
We would love for you to keep visiting us, Admiral's Mommy...we would miss you tremendously. We have our paws crossed that someday a kitty will be guided to your door, at just the right time.
xx The Kats
Thinking of you... <3
We would welcome your visits with all of us with open arms. we care about you and will want to know how you are doing. We know how hard the time to come will be for you without your dear Admiral but one day you will just think of her and smile at your memories. And maybe another little one will come to your home when you are ready.
Cats of wildcat woods
Dear Admiral's Mom,
Thank you so very much for sharing Admiral with us. Please know that you remain in our thoughts. Much love.
Tucker & The Gang
Carole, we would love it if you stayed around. I hope you'll continue on your personal blog, when you feel like it.
"For everything there is a season..."
But Trish is right, sometimes it sucks being human. Actually, a lot of the time it sucks, I think.
Hugs, universal Light and Love.
-Kim
Carole.... we want you to visit us anytime you want.... anytime. We have leaky eyes over here and are sending you lots of purrs to comfort you.
Love to you... pawhugs, HH, Max, Bugsy, and Knuckles
We would love for you to still come visit - we'd very much miss you if you didn't, you always make us smile!
Keeping you in our thoughts xoxo
WE all lose a piece when one of us passes over TRB. Your loss is our loss, your tears, are our tears. WE are right there with you. Mom thinks that there is great comfort amongst the kitties because all the Mom's and Dad's know the heartaches and sorrows, but they also know the love and sweetness. We know that Miss Admiral will still be your guiding light, she is with you always and forever just in another form. We are all happy to know you will still remain with us, and we hope when the time is right, and with Miss Admiral's blessing a new fur baby will bless you. Until then, feel free to visit all of us for your furry fuzzies.
xoxoxox
purrs
>^,,^<
♥Abby♥Boo♥Ping♥Jinx♥Grace♥
We all hope you will continue to visit us and when you find another perfect girlie we will all be so happy to meet here. Til then, we will visit. That is what friends do.
Mr.Kitty, Mr.White and MrsB.
Thank you for writing such sweet words through your pain. We did not know Admiral long but we came to love her so much. We would be honoured and delighted to have you, her Mommy, continue to come and visit us. And we hop there will indeed be another girl who in time will fill your heart with joy.
Purrs and Hugs,
The Chans and #1 (and Tommy and Vidock too!)
A visit from you would mean the world as you meant so much to us as you shared your special relationship with Admiral. Pattings on the computer with soft paws,
Willow
I'm so happy that you'll still be visiting us. When reading this, the tears started flowing again. For a long time, I've not been able to cry, but I feel your pain.
We will welcome another little girl when the time is right for you and the Admiral. Until then, we'll look forward to your visits.
Love from me and Kassey
I would be honored to have Admiral Mommy visit me and my blog. We know the pain and the tears well. She knew how much you loved her and that love kept her going.
Yes, of course we would love for you to visit. I know how much it comforted me in the past to have the friendship of other animal lovers who understood my pain and I'm glad you count us all friends. I'm so glad you gave her your love and she of course returned that to you.
Mom Carole, I'm still leaking !!! I miss Miss Admiral too. She is being a sweet friend to me for long long time. I do love her and I do love you. I send so many hugs to you . and I wish all the best , I'm sure one day she will lead you to another sweet kitty. Purrs for you, Mom Carole.
I think it's a great idea to keep visiting, keep you pay attention with other kitties, some time it help a little bit. To keep your thought out of pain.
Many Hugs and Purrs
xoxo
We feel better knowing you will come visit us. We love you too you know. We would be oh, so sad if you did not keep in touch with us. Sending up prayers for your peace and comfort dear friend. Love. hugs and nose kisses
We are very sad to hear about sweet little Admiral. Mom was not on the computer yesterday and she is visiting her sister today.
We are going to miss seeing that lovely face. We send you our most comforting purrs as we know you have lost your best companion.
Many hugs and purrs to you.
Purrs Tillie & Georgia,
Tiger,Treasure and JJ
and mom Nancy
Early in our beloved Hemingway's final illness, Ron asked the vet how to know when it is time to stop treatment and to send a kitty to the Bridge. He said "When you are keeping a cat alive for *your* benefit and not for the cat's". A few weeks after that, we realized that even though it would break our hearts to do so, we had to send Hemingway to the Bridge. Now it seems that you had to make that decision for the Admiral. I know from our own experience that it broke your heart to do so, but I'm sure it was necessary, even as it was necessary for us to to it for Hemingway. If it is any comfort to you, I have no doubt that the Admiral knew full well that you love her very much and that you made her as happy as was possible.
The Big Thing here: I understand what you are feeling. Not precisely, because the circumstances and cause are slightly different, but I know the feeling of loss, too. Skeeter tugs at my heart most days, and LC as well.
No kitty will ever truly replace The Admiral in your heart. But our hearts have more space in them then we can truly understand. As Ayla, Iza, and Marley are precious to me now, you may be guided to another kitty who needs your love and attention in the future.
You may resist the idea out of loyalty to The Admiral, but please let me assure you that it would not be disloyalty or an act of forgetfulness.
A new kitty would not be a replacement, but the beginning of a new friendship, a new experience, and the love (from and for) a different kitty of new habits and endearing quirks and qualities.
One of the saddest things I ever saw was when my mother lost a dear cat and never accepted another into her life. She missed the joy of a new love and the adventure of understanding those rare precious little wild critters who can settle into our homes, heaths, and hearts so easily.
Right now, this very moment, there is a worthy kitty somewhere desperately wanting a home, love, and attention from someone with a large heart like yours...
To me, the source doesn't matter. Animal shelter, newspaper ads, breeders, craigslist, friends, neighbors, etc. Unimportant.
Give yourself weeks, months, whatever you need. But "someday", you will hold a kitten in your arms
and wonder why you waited so long to offer your love again.
I know, from experience of stepping once again into uncertainty, and being rewarded for it...
You are such a wonderful mom. Admiral san has been filled with your love. Someone said that kitties who went to rainbow bridge will come back some day in a different coat. I believe Admiral san will...some day.
my heart is breaking all over again after reading this.
I also understand...when Bobo's final days came and he was deaf and virtually had no quality of life...all he had was my "loving on his fur" as well. I so understand and I feel your heartache with you.
Admiral WILL send a new "little girl" to you one day...you are too special of a mommy for her not to. She will do it when the time is right...there is no deadline on grief, there is no "rules" about when you can bring in a new little one. Only YOU and the Admiral will know when it is time.
In the meanwhile, please know you both are in our hearts, prayers and thoughts and we THANK YOU for sharing your precious girl with us. I can smell the bacon cooking away in heaven right now....
xoxoxoxoxo Much love and sadness, Cody and Caren
We are so happy you will be here wif us on the CB! Take the time to be sad. We think the Admiral will lead anudder kitteh to you. Our purrs and purrayers are still wif you. xoxo
Oh, my eyes are leaking again. There is nothing Harley and I would like more than to have you continue to visit us when you can. I think, when your heart has healed a bit, it would be wonderful if you were able to open your heart to another kitty. I think it would be a great tribute to Admiral, and it would literally mean the world to another kitty desperate for the love you have in your heart. {{{hugs}}}
We would love to have you visiting and look forward to meeting the lucky kitty that the Admiral would send to you in due course.
Soft purrs and hugs to you in this sad and difficult time.
Mario's mom here: I'm so happy you wrote this post and are trying to get on with life. The CB has been a huge part of your life for so many years - you and Admiral together - that of course you need to keep up with it and all the friends you have made. Mario will be thrilled if you come see his blog. As soon as i'm able to handle it, I will do a tribute to Admiral for Mario. We loved her too - thru you - and have been crying for 3 days now as we feel your pain. Admiral will guide you to a new furbaby whenever you are ready. Love and prayers,
Mary
We would be honoured and so very happy to have the Admiral's Mummy continue to visit us. It will be a kind of living link to the Admiral. And we are sure, too, that when the time is right, she will send you a new furbaby - just as our Mummy's first kitty, Minxie, sent us to Mummy, so she wouldn't be lonely and so that we would have as wonderful a furever home as Minxie had.
Furs and headbutts from Us - and our Mummy sends her love also.
xoxox
I was going to send you an email but I don't see that on your blog...
Anyway, Fin's Mom here. I am so sorry for your loss. Please accept my deepest condolences.
Dear Carole,
We loves your comments. We loves yous! We will keep sending yous comforting purrs and kisses because we loves yous!
Kisses
Nellie
Oh Carole I am so sorry to hear this. I fully understand. We have always had cats in our family and they all, fortunately, were long lived. We had a cat that lived from 1960 till 1980. The next one lived from 1980 to 1998. When they passed it was truly like losing a family member. One of my sisters had a cat that lived for 16 years. Her present cat is 12. My other sister has a cat who just turned 10. I am saddened to hear this Carole and I understand how sad it is for you. Some people who don't have pets can't understand the heartbreak this brings. They truly become members of the family. Once again I am truly saddened by this. I understand.
I did not know your sweet kitty, but heard about your loss on The Katnip Krew - When one of us looses a friend, we all remember our losses and the friends that we have waiting for us at the bridge. I do hope that the notes and purrs of all your friends and the good memories of your little girl will sustain you over time. Sincerely, Tina
I am so sorry. I pray for comfort for you. Thanks for providing the Admiral with such good care.
We are so sad to hear this news. We haven't been blogging this past week so just found out today.
We're sad for you because you are hurting the most. Sweet little Admiral is well and happy on the Bridge so we have no worries for her. It's we who are left behind who will miss her.
She was and is a wonderful kitty, full of spunk and personality. And beautiful to boot.
One thing for sure, the love never dies. You will carry her in your heart and your memories forever.
I am so sorry you lost Admiral. Thank you for your thoughts and telling us of your love for and with Admiral. We know that you miss her like heck but you did the right thing.
@DashKitten and @Whskr (Marjorie)
We would be glad for you to visit! We are deeply saddened by the loss of Admiral. The day there is a new kitty will be a day of celebration! So many deserving kitties are out there, waiting for someone to love and love them in return.
We will love it whenever you come to visit, Mom Carole. You and our sweet Admiral shared such a special and loving bond, and we know you will always have that in your heart and soul. So visits from you you will be so very special for us.
Hugs, purrs and prayers to you, dear friend.
Admiral's Mom, we will look forward to your visits, but we hope Admiral sends you a bundle of joy sooner, rather than later.
we are so glad that you still come an' see us! (an' specially glad that you liked our catsmas carols;-) we will be lookin' fur you, an' hope that yer heart is healin' an' her memories are kind. *hugs* & *nosekisses*
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