Thursday, December 22, 2011

Oh MY!

I was teary on Thursday morning last week as I dressed and made my bed before leaving the house. But to make the bed and getting dressed a little more visible, I turned on the big light in the bedroom.

As I approached the head of the bed to get started, my eye fell on something small..pebble sized object perhaps, on the carpet right where Admiral used to walk. Her route to UTB.

I leaned down to pick it up knowing full well what it was. My girl had been at her toilette that morning before her morning nap after breakfast, and having long fluffy pantaloons, um..well, actually, kinda sorta a small offering clung to her back feathers and-- well, sorta dropped away. She would have been mortified had she known. BUT it was a certain sure reminder of her and I placed the hard little marble on the windowsill not even 24 hrs. after she flew away and actually SMILED! I even chuckled. Then, I bawled-- but looking at it again and telling some friends, I laughed again. I know, you think I'm crazy. That's OK. It's not there now but for a little while it did make me smile.

xoxoxo

68 comments:

Fuzzy Tales said...

We think that's funny and sad and and sweet, all rolled into one, Carole.

*Head butts* and purrs.

-Nicki and Derry

****

BTW, last night Derry was in the basement, meowing (he's learned to be vocal from Nicki), and I flicked on the light to make sure he was okay. He was fine, but since he didn't run up the stairs, I sat on the top step, then said to angel Annie that if she was down there, I wished she'd hurry up and come up so Derry would come up too. I kid you not, I felt a brush against my right thigh a few moments later, and while I don't believe it really was Annie, it still made me smile.

And Derry did come up, with a bit more coaxing. :-)

-Kim

Sweet Purrfections said...

We don't think you're crazy at all. Mom Paula is still finding little reminders of Sweet Praline as she cleans up the home office.

Truffle and Brulee

CAROLDEE said...

Sis for me it was a ball. One the doggie played with always.Even looking at it made me weep, but also smile. It is good having things keep the essence of our furry family alive forever. I send you love and prayers at this hard hard time. XXOOO
SIS

Avalon's Garden and Mewsings of Garden Cottage Cats said...

:), Always looking for some small trace of our Babies ~
I know what you mean, having a few Fancy Pants around here.
Love & Purrz~

Terri said...

I understand completely. Tufts of Tabitha's beautiful coat on the carpet would get me started.

Beth said...

I understand completely Twin, It was a reminder of your beloved girl. I am glad it caused you to smile for a little while.

I am so happy all of your family is there with you today. Their loving care will surround you and there will be other things to smile about.

Love and a hug,
Beth

Seeking Serenity said...

things like this and the furr are the hardest after the warm baby isnt there <3 laughter is healing and a good release ((hug))

Unknown said...

We is laughing and crying with you. When we brought out the christmas things Hissy Old Licorice's favorite mousie was in the bottom of the box! Mommy gots all teary.
Kisses
Nellie

Tucker The Crestie said...

We don't think you're crazy at all. In whatever form they take, we often need these tangible reminders of our lost loved ones until, eventually, all our wonderful memories of them can be enough to sustain us.

Please know that you and Angel Admiral remain very much in our thoughts.

The Monkeys said...

No one in this household thinks you're crazy.

Mommy calls those nuggets that stick to my snow pants 'Klingons' LOL.

We are sending you BIG Tortie purrs and lots of Tuxie love. We miss your girl and know how much you loved each other.

Delilah
xoxo

Stacy Hurt said...

Oh dear. Those little reminders of the loves of our life. It wouldn't have made a difference what it actually was really.

Hearts and hugs to you. I did cull your blog back a few (thousand) posts and added to my collection of fab fotos of your beloved. I will begin right after the holiday.

xoxo
Ms. Stella O'Houligan & That Woman

Gigi said...

Ha ha ha! That's a great story. Nothing makes us kittehs so pleased as to have our precious poops admired. I know the Admiral was smiling in satisfaction just beyond the Bridge.

Lots of Spitty love to you, Mom Carole!

Hannah and Lucy said...

Hannah leaves me little klingons all over the place - if I see one hanging by one hair I try to take it off and she gives me such a dirty look I feel quite chastened!!
I know it can't be helped and I don't mind picking them up but the only place I don't like to find them is down the bed!!
We are purring for you every day and hope it helps a teeny bit.
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

Random Felines said...

you aren't crazy.....it is those little things that help keep us SANE when we go through this...

Angel Simba said...

Oh, "klingon" is just the right name for that! What a sweet story of our dear little friend. We know you will be looking after Mommy this Christmas and frolicking where you are. Purrs and headbutts to your family.

BeadedTail said...

Any sign of our babies is a welcomed sign! We don't think you are crazy one bit Carole! Sending you hugs and purrs!

Jans Funny Farm said...

It's amazing the strange things that can make humans laugh or cry. It's nice it made you smile before the tears.

Donna said...

Hee hee! Heaven has big clean litter boxes all the time. :)

Brian's Home Blog said...

I agree, that is not the least bit crazy, it is the dear Admiral trying to help heal your heart. Love, hugs and purrs.

The Florida Furkids said...

We think our Mom would have reacted the exact same way. We're glad you could smile a bit even with the tears.

The Florida Furkids and Angel Sniffie

Angel Prancer Pie said...

The Mom totally unnerstands. Only luf could make a cling-on speshul. We are still purring and sending pawsitive thoughts your way. Merry Christmas from all of us. xoxo

Whisppy said...

I think that's so precious. I'm sure Admiral did that on purpose, knowing full well it would bring a smile to her beloved Mommy.
This reminds me of when Looppy (my rabbit) flew to the bridge. A few days later, I found 2 beautiful pebbles from her and call ME nuts, but I still have them, 9 years later. :)

meowmeowmans said...

You're not crazy at all, Mom Carole. Surely the Admiral is watching over you, and revealing reminders of her sweetness as you need them. Big hugs to you.

ANGEL ABBYGRACE said...

I have to agree it is sweet, sad and touching all at once. you will no doubt continue to find reminders all over as the days go on. I am sitting here with leaky eyes and sending you lots of hugs.
xoxoxox
purrs
Abby

Mariodacat said...

he he- We split our sides over here laughing when we heard it. Admiral was leaving you a little prezzie! he he so funny.

Summer at sparklecat.com said...

My human doesn't even have to SEE anything. All she has to do is THINK about the cat before me and she has all sorts of emotions immediately. And just to remind you, she has been gone almost 10 years.

freddiethek said...

So you saved a piece of her poo? OK! Whatever floats your boat. TW still tells me she wishes I was Nicky. Go figure.

Kat's Kats said...

MOL!! I understand purrfectly!! ::hugs::

Many hugs, purrs, prayers and so on still incoming from our house to yours!!

love,
Kat, Jennifer, Corwyn
Zaphy, Star, Knives & Audrey

Mark's Mews (Marley, Lori, Taz, and Binq) said...

The Big Thing here: I understand completely. The cats will think I am utterly crazy, but they all have some habits I find endearing.

Iza has "crusty-butt" and scootches along the carpet sometimes (I really have to get a video of that someday). Ayla brings bits of litter to the bed (in her paws and drops them there) and I pick it out before sleeping. Marley is, of course, preturnatually perfect.

Cats are so wonder-filled.

Angel Ginger Jasper said...

We understand.. It was a sign and it was funny and it was sad but yes she is there watching over you.. Hugs GJ xx

GreatGranny said...

Mom Carole, you're not crazy. It was a precious and tender moment when you found the pebble. The Admiral was such a precious little girl. Thank you for sharing this moment with us.

Mark's Mews (Marley, Lori, Taz, and Binq) said...

Meant to add: Its those strange things they do, like Ayla carrying all the toys into the bedroom at night, doing the meezer merfing sound, Marley flopping over on his side whenever I approach, or Iza watching me constantly to see when I sit on a chair and make a lap for her to get up on...

Ellen Whyte said...

You're not nuts, Carole, or at least if you are, then it's a common malady on the cat bloggosphere. We're purring the smiles at the good memories will increase, and the sobs from the pain of parting will decrease as time goes by.

Daisy said...

I think Admiral left that, er, "gift" behind because she knew it would make you smile.

Here I Am Carrie said...

I occasionally get those gifts left behind around the house as well. They are rather harmless as they are so hard. I am sure little reminders and memories will stir both happy and sad thoughts. May the happy soon out weigh the sad. Hugs Carrie

Annie Bear said...

No, not crazy at all and I'm so glad it made you smile for a moment.

Admiral was such a sweet good girl. I'm glad you have wonderful memories of her even though I know it hurts. Like Carrie said, soon the happy will outweigh the sad.

SailorEdgar said...

You aren't crazy, you are just going through the grieving process with its mix of emotions. By the way, once in a while I will be aware of Hemingway's presence.

dArtagnan Rumblepurr/Diego Hamlet Moonfur said...

Rumblemum still cries for sweet Inigo, you don't stop loving and missing them. It's normal. *purr cuddle purrrrr*

BostonBoy said...

I imagine that smile and chuckle are all part of the healing process. It will always be a little sad but it will get easier as time passes. You will never forget the joy and happiness she brought you.

As with the war of the squirrels and the presidential campaign I had made another picture when you had made a comment about her walking around singing an aria in one of her blog posts. I had her recording an album with Andre Boccelli. I made the album cover and was going to send it to you but I deleted it when I heard the sad news.

san said...

What a funny story. It made us smile too.
the amigos and san

The Island Cats said...

Well, Admiral wouldn't have minded leaving a little poop behind knowing it would make you smile.

Quill and Greyson said...

I do understand. Hugs to you!

The Chair Speaks said...

No, you are not crazy!
Our human feels the same too sometimes...over the late Tortie and Tommy! Many purrs and hugs to you.

Unknown said...

I completely understand. Miss Admiral is most probably smiling down from rainbow bridge at her little parting gift :)
xoxo

CATachresis said...

See, the sweet Admiral still wanting to make you smile :) No of course you are not crazy, Carole. It's going to be like that for a good while as certain things remind you of her. She was a big personality xox

Terry's Tete-a-tete said...

It's not crazy. Little reminders bring not only sadness but wonderful memories and smiles. When I was a child any my dog passed I swear I felt him jump up on the foot of my bed every night for at least 6 months.

Anonymous said...

You are not crazy at all. It is good that you can laugh and cry as you grieve and remember precious Admiral. All those little reminders will help you to get through this all in a healthy way and that is what counts. Admiral would want it that way. Love and hugs

Marg said...

We sure don;t think you are crazy at all. Our Mom would have done the same thing. It is so good to remember our furry friends. We know you are hurting at this time of year and so send you tons of hugs. Take care.

MrsB said...

You're not crazy. I gathered up all the kittyfuzz left on fleeces where my lovely MinniePie napped - and put them all in a special wooden box - one of those puzzle kind with a marquetry top. I keep it on my dresser with her little urn.
I will always have it. I promised her that I would never leave her when she was a tiny, scared little kitten. I still see her sometimes. I think of it as a wonderful gift.

Purrfect Haven said...

oh my dear, a precious memory (albeit in a funny, most personal form... like marble)... we would have felt just like you and send you a LOT of LOVE ... we wish you a peaceful festive time full of joyful memories. Love Helen, Darcy and Bingley xxx

Anonymous said...

Makes perfect sense to me. Much love to you! woo woo woo!

Tama-Chan, Benny, Vidock, Violette, Ollie, Heloise, Momo, Ryu said...

Of course you're not crazy. And that was just a reminder of the reality of her presence, all of which you will always treasure.

Julia Williams said...

It doesn't matter who might think you are crazy for treasuring a dingleberry. What matters is how you felt, and if a dingleberry brought you closer to her in the moment, then so be it. Besides that, it makes a wonderful story. As someone who loves her cats with every fiber of her heart, I understand...

Cathy Keisha said...

OMC! I just realized I commented from Pop's account! He should learn to log out when he's through with the computer. Come see my downloadable Christmas card. Merry Christmouse!

Anonymous said...

Your not crazy! I think when we find little things that remind of our beloved kitty's..I think it is their way of comforting us during the grieving process. I think the thing I always miss the most is the little Rituals that we would have everyday. To me that is the hardest part of the grieving..we take those little rituals for granted when they are alive but when they die those little rituals become so precious! Im happy though that you are thinking of your good memories with Admiral. Heres to you Admiral Hestorb...there are a lot of people thinking of you today!
Merry Christmas,
jude,poo,babybella,piper,marley & Melody

The Meezers or Billy said...

we don't think you're crazy at all - any little reminder is wonderful - and it's good that you can laugh and cry. we love you!

Mr Puddy said...

Me and Mom love you and Miss Admiral
Nothing is crazy ! Only love is still here
Many Hugs to you Mom Carole.

I won't be around till next 3 weeks, But I would love to say...Merry Merry Christmas !!
I wish you all have a very best time : )
Lots of Love
xoxo

Puddy and Mom Boom

Margaret said...

I still miss my dearest friend, Admiral. I sleep all curled up, thinking of our plans to sail the Atlantic on our sailboat and visit our friends around the world.
Hugs,
Mandu

Gigi said...

Mom Carole, We is going away till Monday and might not be on the computer for a day or two. Me and the Human want to say Meowy Krissymouse to you and your family. We know you are missing your Beautiful Admiral (us too). You gave her the best gift of all, every day--your amazing love and care for her, and she returned it just as powerfully. Although you are sad, we hope you still can find joy in this wonderful season.
XOXOXO

wildcatwoods said...

Little bits of our beloved pets left behind are precious - no matter what they are. We will be thinking of you this holiday season and sending love.

Merry Christmas form our house to yours!

Cats of wildcat woods

Quinn and Angel brandi said...

Little things really count! Offering many sweet blessings and (((hugs))).
Merry Christmas!

Jacqueline said...

I really enjoyed your story of sweet, beautiful Admiral on Monday and this one too=I understand your feelings and hold you in my prayers...Wishing you comfort and peace at this difficult time=we miss your precious girl too...Merry Christmas, lovely friend...big hugs...J, Calle, Halle, Sukki

Tamago said...

I don't think you are crazy at all. Any little things make you smile..because of love! I smile any time I find kids' fur on my clothes when I am away from home.
I think Admiral san tried to make you smile :-) I wish you wonderful Christmas and happy new year!!

Clooney said...

Ding dong! Clooney Claus has arrived to give Mom Carole some kitty kisses and special Clooney cuddles! Merry Christmas!

Cat and DOG Chat With Caren said...

you are NOT crazy....that was a sign from Admiral...letting you know she is watching you!!!!!!!!!
((((hugs)))))))))

Hannah and Lucy said...

We just called to say we are thinking of you especially today.
Luv Hannah, Lucy & mum Sue xxx

KC and the Giggleman Kitties said...

I can relate to your experience.
I was cleaning a few months ago, and moved some boxes out of my closest.
Behind one was a spot where Charlie-Taylor had vomited.
In all the time since he was here and gone, those boxes must have never been moved.
The sight of that spot caught me off guard had me crying.
Have to admit, I feel a bit crazy about that.

Teri and her Stylish Adventure Cats said...

it is comforting to read everyone's remembrances of similiar findings of something a special cat left behind that was found and brought tears but also fond memories. I have a locket that some of my special Bo's fur was in and when the glass fell out of it and I lost his fur...it greatly saddened me. I now wear a bracelet with a pinch of his ashes (and Spot's) inside and I really feel apart from them when I 'dress up' and don't wear it...

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